oceans

There is a popular Christian song out right now called Oceans.  I admit to being a little old school with worship music.  I LOVE songs by Keith Green and to listen to the old time Hymns, but the song Oceans has spoken to me a lot over the past year.  Here are some of the lyrics:

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

This year my life took an odd turn.  You may have noticed that my blogs turned from trainer/wellness stuff to Isaiah Challenge/act like a disciple stuff.  Last January instead of the normal client increase I see at the beginning of a New Year I lost six of my long time clients all at once.  Then in June I was told my services were not longer needed at the gym I was training at!  (No further explanation given).  I FERVENTLY began to ask God to bring me more clients and show me what to do with my “Wellness-Ministry”. . .Did you know that we can pray AMISS when we ask God to bless our plans instead of seeking for His?

James 4:3- 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

Well, instead of God opening up more training opportunities He began to open up opportunities to share about the Isaiah Challenge.  (See that blog if your lost).  He also began to lead me to Downtown Amarillo.  I began to ask the Spirit to show me how to pray for God’s desires to be made known.

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

My husband and I both began to hear the same thing.  Training was closing and ministry to those that Matthew 25 calls the “least of these” was opening.  Instead of walking into a gym (my comfort zone) God began to lead me into my “OCEANS”.  (The place my feet thought they could never wander).  He began to change my selfish nature (IN PROCESS!) and put a compassion in me for what I saw in Downtown Amarillo Texas.  At the end of this year I was asked to teach Self-Worth classes at the United Way 2-1-1 day shelter to the homeless and those in dire poverty.  If you read my blog (Challenged to blast my comfort zone) then you know in September I was afraid to even park near a homeless man! (Sprit lead me where my trust is without borders).  I accepted the offer IF I COULD TEACH FROM SCRIPTURE.  This “secular” institution gave me permission to teach as I saw fit. . .and to bring in more studies and classes as I felt led.  (Let me walk upon the water, wherever You would call me)  They have also allowed me to bring in other Christian ministers to offer Biblically Based Addiction Programs!

In this experience God has given me so great a love for the people I have met that one of them has become “adopted” into our family.  He has been more of a blessing to us than we could ever be to him.  (and My faith has been made stronger in the presence of my Savior).

I prayed for more clients.  God gave me more family.  I prayed for opportunities to teach the middle class about health.  God gave me a chance to feed the hungry.  I asked God for a better gym to work at.  God gave me an homeless man to call “brother”. 

And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep

Below is a clip of me sharing this journey at WTAMU Wesley.  If you are struggling to step into deeper oceans perhaps God will use it to speak to you and give you courage to leave the boat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaRgpixzYWI

 

 

 

I don't want to be a good speaker!

Last night my husband and I got to minster together to a group of college students.  Roman led worship and I was to give the Word.  I really felt I had the heart of the Lord and a basic direction on where He wanted to go.  I usually have "word for word" notes written out but this time I felt the Holy Spirit needed to have total control so the notes were more loose.  My hearts prayer over the last several months has been.

#1-  I want to be with You where You are. . .(part of last nights topic)

#2-  I want to be a choice vessel.

I wrote a blog a few months back about the "choice vessel" but if you missed it here is a re-cap. 

In our house we probably have at least 30 coffee mugs.  Everyday, however, I choose one of two mugs to drink out of.  These are my two favorite mugs ("vessels")  to use.  In fact, if both of these mugs are dirty, I will stop to clean one of them rather than use anything else.  Why do I like these two the most?  Well in thinking about it:

#1- they have the thickest ceramic so the coffee stays HOT much longer
#2- the thickness gives it a sturdy and "lasting" feel (not easily broken)

As I pondered this I told the Lord, "I want to be on of Your chosen vessels.  The one You will "cleanse" in order to use.  The on that burns HOT and is steadfast and hard to break." 
I want to be the vessel the Lord wants to reach for each day.  I want to be poured into and poured out of daily, not to sit on a shelf collecting dust.

That has been my prayer and desire. . .so last night comes and I get distracted because a "college" atmosphere in not what this 30-something mom is use to.  I actually forgot to pray before I started speaking!  Now here is the thing.  I don't think the night was a total BOMB, but I also don't think it was what the Holy Spirit would had done if I had truly been a surrendered vessel.  I began to ponder this during the night and He put this prayer in me:

"Lord, I DON'T want to be a good speaker, I want to be a surrendered vessel that YOU SPEAK THROUGH".

You see, my favorite mug (vessel) has NO SAY in what I pour into it.  It can get coffee; tea; or hot chocolate; and it has no control of what is poured in or poured out! 

A good speaker can make a great feel-good speech in the flesh and everyone goes home feeling excited about what they heard.  But a surrendered vessel can only give the Word of the Lord and then people go home CHANGED.

As I pondered this the Lord was so gently with me.  He is a good Rabbi/Teacher and knows my heart was to obey but my mind saw the "waves".  Total surrender is so difficult because I have controlled this body now for 34 years, but my continual prayer will be:

"Pour me out as a drink offering."

What I learned on Skid-Row

Last night my husband and I watched a documentary called ‘LOST-ANGELS: Skid Row is My Home’.  That seems like an odd pick for a Saturday night by the fire but the past several months God has taken us down an unforeseen road and we have had the opportunity to minister in Downtown Amarillo to people who are either homeless or in dire poverty.  We chose this documentary hoping it could give us some insight into a world we are unfamiliar going into.  Here is a summation of what God is teaching us in this new ministry encounter:

In the documentary you meet a lady who has government housing but prefers to stay out on the street most nights.  She pushes around a large shopping cart filled with trash.  She loves cats and birds and spends every day walking the 50 blocks that Skid-Row occupies in LA feeding them.  I started thinking of the times I have encountered the homeless population whether in Dallas, New Mexico, or 6^th street in Austin.  I have seen SEVERAL people pushing carts filled with trash; I have to wonder, why?  Why is a cart filled with trash so important to them?  As Roman and I discussed it, he said, “We all do the same thing.”  Then today in my Word time the Lord confirmed this to me.  Let me explain.  The Word tell us:

Matthew 6:19 "Don't store up treasures here on earth, where they can be eaten by moths and get rusty, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where they will never become moth-eaten or rusty and where they will be safe from thieves.

But what do we all do?  We store things up and pack them into our garage, attic, storage unit, junk drawer, hall closet, lay-away, etc, etc, etc.  Most of these things we never look at once they are packed away yet we refuse to get rid of them.  Is it possible that the extra coffee pot I have had stashed in the garage for 5 years looks the same to God as her cart of trash looks to me? Temporary and of no real value.  Perhaps I am more like this woman than I thought as I too am guilty of storing up  "Treasure/Trash" here on earth.

As I read on from Matthew 6 the Lord highlighted this verse to me. 

 

Verse 25- 25 "So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life -- whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. . .

 

In my last post I shared about the gift I received from a homeless man.  This man has become very precious to my family, in-fact, we now consider him family.  I went to see him earlier this week.  The downtown resource center was having a Christmas party for those that they serve.  Each person was given a bowl of cheese nachos and two cookies.  My friend offered me some of his nachos and gave me one of his cookies.  NOW, think about this.  That was more than likely the ONLY meal he would get that day and he did not know if there would be one tomorrow, yet he offered some to me!  Perhaps he understands the Words of Jesus in Matthew 6 better than I do.  (This week I worried that we might have to “dip” into savings to pay the doctor bill for our sick kids).

After my friend offered to share his meal we walked back to his storage bind.   It is a plastic tub the size that I pack my kids summer shorts in.  It holds EVERYTHING he owns.  He pulls out five red Christmas stockings that he has purchased for my children, my husband, and myself.  Mathew 6 goes on to say:

 

31 "So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. 32 Why be like THE PAGANS who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, 33 and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.

If this had not shown me the true nature of God, the lesson is not over yet.

This man has my husbands phone number.  He has medical issues and is crippled.  We have asked him repeatedly to call us if he needs anything, yet he has never called. . .until Friday.  All three of my kids got the flu this week.  It is contagious a full seven days.  We had invited our friend to come to Christmas Dinner but had to leave a message with the shelter that due to the illness in the home we would need to reschedule with him for New Years.  That is when the phone call came.  Not a complaint that he may not have a warm home or meal on Christmas.  Not a call to tell us of his medical needs.  He called to check up on our family and prayed God to bless us.

So for all my learning about homelessness: whether in Downtown Amarillo, or on Skid-Row Los Angeles;  I suppose the Lord has me there not to minister, but to learn what it is to be more Christ like. . .after all. . .Jesus Himself was a homeless man.

Matthew 8:19 Then one of the teachers of religious law said to him, "Teacher, I will follow you no matter where you go!" 20 But Jesus said, "Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head."