Lessons From Grandma Series

I named my blog Wholly-Holy so that it would cover a multitude of life topics that bring us in wholeness and holiness. . .and because it's also the name of my book ;)


I just got home from a four day trip to spend a Ladies Weekend with my Grandma.  My Grandma is my very best girlfriend and the picture of what I someday hope to be as a wife, mother, and woman.  Several years back I wrote a monthly column for our local Newspaper entitled "Lessons from Grandma".  I have decided to post that as a series for my blog.  I hope you enjoy it.  Below is lesson one. . .first published in 2008.

To Become a Woman. . . Again

Hello Dear Readers, as we celebrate Mothers Day this year I have a confession for you;  I am learning to become a woman again.  As little girls we watch our mothers put on make-up, perfume and jewelry.  We observe all of the Disney character princesses, and dress up our Barbie for a big date with Ken.  One day we seem to change from an awkward little girl to the woman we watched so closely.  The new woman one day meets her handsome prince and they ride off into the sunset.  On the other side of the sunset is a change that the fairytales forget to tell us about.  The beautiful woman becomes a mommy. 

I love being a mother but over the past nine years I realize that I have lost the beauty of being a woman.  My life is about having time to take a shower; forget the makeup.  I help with homework, make school lunches, and potty train two year old little boys.  Many years ago my purse was exchanged for a diaper bag.  When youngest son Jacob turned two years old last year,  I told Roman that I was planning on becoming a woman again.  After eight years of toting a diaper bag my first step to being feminine was to buy a new purse.

This quest to feel female again was part of the inspiration to write about the life of Pattye Louise Hopkins.  In every way a lady.  Yes a wife, yes a mother, but always a woman.  So to recapture the art of femininity a few years ago I started an annual girl’s weekend with Grandma. People have many different learning styles.  I learn by observation.  So I thought what better way to grasp womanhood again than to spend it observing my favorite gal. When I planned the first weekend away,  I had never been away from my children for more than twenty four hours.  I called my best friend and we flew down to Austin to spend some girl time with Grandma.  The weekend couldn’t have been more perfect.  We slept in and Grandma had breakfast waiting for us each morning.  Of course sleeping in for me these days equates to about 7:30a.m!  Grandma took us to “A taste of Thyme” for an afternoon tea and after that we went out to tour a wine vineyard.  The tour included a wine tasting and she had us pick out a bottle of our favorite wine to take home. Later that afternoon we went shopping to pick out my new purse.  The next evening Grandma told us to get all “Gussied Up” in our nicest attire. She had made reservations at Russo’s the fanciest restaurant in town.  Russo’s sits overlooking lake LBJ and we had a quiet meal overlooking the water. No one spilled there milk, no one made funny “potty-jokes”, no one asked me to get up and get them anything.  I just sat and enjoyed the company of my best friend, and my best gal!  My favorite part of our weekend however was sitting up talking life, marriage, and just asking Grandma for wisdom and advice.  I don’t know how she managed throughout the years, but somehow my Grandmother never lost the beauty of being a woman.  I know she loved being a mother and a wife but somehow in that she never lost the identity of being Pattye Louise.  I think perhaps the key was in living in every moment.  Every season of life she has fully embraced.  When her kids were young she was in the stands at all of their baseball games.  That side of her life did not stop her from getting “Gussied Up” and heading into town for a date with my Grandfather either. She realized a women is many things all at once.  I wonder if perhaps she read Proverbs 31 and put its words into practice? 

For all mothers out there who may feel a little less than feminine these days, take this lesson and apply it to your own life.  Find time to celebrate the beauty of being wife, being mother, and being woman.  When I returned home I felt refreshed and renewed to do the job this season in my life calls me to be.  After all Dear Readers, what is more feminine than to be called “Mommy”!



A faith lesson for the teacher

The past few weeks have been physically and emotionally exhausting.  It’s one of those times when you wonder if God really knows what He is doing.  Transitioning from training into ministry has been a struggle that has tested my faith many times.  Personal training is financially stable and comfortable for me.  Ministry feels shaky and uncertain most of the time.  This morning I woke up and felt like “calling in sick”.  I was suppose to head Downtown to teach a Bible Study for homeless women.  I woke up feeling empty and like I had nothing to offer them.  I once heard a Bishop say that God is most pleased with us when we are tired but go ahead and serve anyways.  I prepared the snacks and coffee for the ladies and headed to Amarillo.  When I got to the Day Shelter it was filled with men but almost no women.  “Great”, I thought, “I wasted my time today for nothing.”  I ended up having only one woman come.  I decided perhaps the Holy Spirit needed me to minister to this one in a different way so I set the lesson plan aside and just began to talk with her and ask her about her life.  This particular lady has come to several of the other Bible Classes and worship times we have had.  She is a very sweet black woman in her late 60’s named Joyce.  She came from an era when her parents both worked as servants for “white folks”.  She has had a hard life.  In the 1980’s her husband left so she and her four kids moved in with her parents, until they kicked them all out in 1989.  She told me that she walked the streets crying continually for several years, but then one day “the Lord dried my tears”. . .I asked her where she was staying.  She told me, “On the street”.  I asked her why she didn’t go to the Salvation Army or another mission.  “I have done that, but I don’t want the Government or anyone else to have to take care of me, you see, I have a Father, He knows all I need.”  I then asked her if she was ever afraid on the streets at night.  Her answer: “I use to be, but when you know the Father, and when you know the Son, you know nothing can touch you that He doesn’t allow.  You know that He can make even your enemies to be at peace with you.”  Then she said, “all I really need is that Closer Walk With Thee.”  She told me that many times in life it was the old Hymns she learned as a child that brought her through.  She told me all she really wanted or needed was to someday be with Him.  Then she looked at me and said, “I am so glad you come down here, you are His light to this darkness, keep doing what you’re doing and know that I am lifting you up to my Father.” 

Before I go Downtown I always ask the Lord to send exactly who He wants that day.  That He sends the people who need to feel His presence and know His love.  Today, instead of God sending me to minister Downtown, He sent me Downtown to be ministered to.   I went empty but God gave me hope through a homeless woman named Joyce.  Sometimes God shows up where we least expect Him.  I still have questions and frustrations, but I am learning to trust as Joyce trusts.  That the Lord can dry all of our tears, that His hand is with us no matter where we find ourselves, and a closer walk with Him is all we need to sustain us.  Will all of you say a prayer for Joyce today?

When grown men weep. . .

This month the Faith based self-worth class I teach for the homeless grew to 31 people!  (We started in January with 9 people).  As exciting as that was for me it also opened my eyes to how little I truly have to offer.  When we minister to the middle class there is not a whole lot of risk involved.  If someone has lost a job and a bill is late, the Sunday School class can take up an anonymous offering to help out with the need.  If a friend has a teenage child that is rebelling we can go have coffee, listen and pray.  (All of these are good things BTW!)  But ministry for those who are TRULY destitute is a whole new ball came.  After my class I had two grown men break down weeping.  One had been attacked on the streets and severely beaten.  His leg was broken in three places.  He has no access to re-hab and lives in constant pain.  The other has been in a battle with intestinal cancer for the past 13 year and has just been denied all medical aid for treatment.  He is only 29 years old and separated from his family.   I look into the eyes of so many others that have no hope.  I felt , in a small way, as Moses must have felt with the armies of Pharoah on one side and the Red Sea on the other.  Moses had nothing in him that could save the Israelites.  This was a God moment.  It was a position that if God did not move, they faced certain death.  The needs Downtown can never be met or filled by my human efforts.  The man with cancer cannot get medical aid.  If God does not heal him supernaturally, he faces certain death! I hear this and feel helpless.  Then I realize, I am!   God has not asked me to free any of them from bondage; that is His job.  My job is to be a yielded vessel for Him to flow through.  When giants come will I stand firm in Christ, or will I surrender to the flesh and either run away or try to solve the impossible on my own? 

 What is He asking you to surrender to?  What mighty act might He be ready to do through you? Will you surrender to Him or run from Him?