#1- I want to be with You where You are. . .(part of last nights topic)
#2- I want to be a choice vessel.
I wrote a blog a few months back about the "choice vessel" but if you missed it here is a re-cap.
In our house we probably have at least 30 coffee mugs. Everyday, however, I choose one of two mugs to drink out of. These are my two favorite mugs ("vessels") to use. In fact, if both of these mugs are dirty, I will stop to clean one of them rather than use anything else. Why do I like these two the most? Well in thinking about it:
#1- they have the thickest ceramic so the coffee stays HOT much longer
#2- the thickness gives it a sturdy and "lasting" feel (not easily broken)
As I pondered this I told the Lord, "I want to be on of Your chosen vessels. The one You will "cleanse" in order to use. The on that burns HOT and is steadfast and hard to break."
I want to be the vessel the Lord wants to reach for each day. I want to be poured into and poured out of daily, not to sit on a shelf collecting dust.
That has been my prayer and desire. . .so last night comes and I get distracted because a "college" atmosphere in not what this 30-something mom is use to. I actually forgot to pray before I started speaking! Now here is the thing. I don't think the night was a total BOMB, but I also don't think it was what the Holy Spirit would had done if I had truly been a surrendered vessel. I began to ponder this during the night and He put this prayer in me:
"Lord, I DON'T want to be a good speaker, I want to be a surrendered vessel that YOU SPEAK THROUGH".
You see, my favorite mug (vessel) has NO SAY in what I pour into it. It can get coffee; tea; or hot chocolate; and it has no control of what is poured in or poured out!
A good speaker can make a great feel-good speech in the flesh and everyone goes home feeling excited about what they heard. But a surrendered vessel can only give the Word of the Lord and then people go home CHANGED.
As I pondered this the Lord was so gently with me. He is a good Rabbi/Teacher and knows my heart was to obey but my mind saw the "waves". Total surrender is so difficult because I have controlled this body now for 34 years, but my continual prayer will be:
"Pour me out as a drink offering."